Okay so I was at work and I had the hiccups and I was stocking an aisle and this lady in the aisle heard me hiccuping and said “oh have you got the hiccups?” and I said yeah and she said “…Do you want me to get rid of them?” and I thought she meant she was going to scare me so I was like “n-no thanks” and she was like “you want to keep your hiccups??” and I said “yeah please dont scare me” and then I wandered off
And then a couple minutes later I still had hiccups and she walked by on her way out and she said “I wasn’t going to scare you you know” and I said “you weren’t?” and she said “no – I have a way I can cure hiccups” and I was like “well what is it?” she’s like “theres something about me that when I talk to people their hiccups just go away. i just chat or maybe tell them a story and after a minute or so their hiccups are just gone” and I thought she was like definitely on some pseudoscience shit so i kind of laughed and joked like “you should expect a call from the X-Men soon then” and she said “no. For real. I bet your hiccups are gone now aren’t they?” and sure enough my fucking hiccups were gone. They stopped while she was speaking to me and didn’t come back all night
what the fuck kind of power did this woman have… was she a hiccup witch??? I have so many questions for her
say what you want about buzzfeed unsolved but lets be honest with ourselves, the theory that shane is a demon and that’s why they never see any real supernatural bullshit is so much funnier then ghosts just not being real
We need a word that’s like phallic but about being vaguely gnomelike instead of vaguely cocklike because I saw this fucking cliff bar stand today and….
I love when libraries really challenge how we think about like, what we provide to society/communities. Like, my library is doing a library of things section now, where you can check out things such as snowshoes or blenders or board games - things! And it’s the library, it’s not like you have to pay to rent these things. It’s possible to just… Give people access to the things they might need or just plain want. It’s not permanent, that’s not what a library does, but like… It’s a resource the is for the usage of ALL people. I love libraries
when i was younger, i used to draw the sun in the corner of the paper every time.
I remember in my high school junior year psych class, my teacher explained to us if you drew the sun like that, then you had an absent father figure. Crazy.
I came out for a good time and honestly I feel so attacked right now
oOF
Shut the fuck up I hate this
is this true cause like…mood
IS THAT TRUE BITCH WAAAAAAIT A MINUTE
Omg y’all better check ya kids art AND FUCKING MEAN IT
i do this so that whenever someone at school tries to make a point and then defends it by saying ‘it’s in the constitution!’ or ‘it’s from the bible!’ or something else along those lines, i can pull out my own copy and say, ‘where exactly does it say that?’
also it’s just great to confuse people by pulling a fucking book of school rules out of nowhere in order to discuss what qualifies as a dresscode violation.
today during lunch a kid and i were debating the gender of god and he said “god’s a man in the bible” and i said “i’m pretty sure god is technically nonbinary or genderfluid, but let me check that” and i unzipped my backpack and the boy said “what’s she doing?” and my friend replied “she’s getting her bible” and i’m not sure how he felt when i set it down on the lunch table and flipped open to genesis but i definitely felt amazing.
straight people are so fucking wild today my coworker informed me that cafés are for women and bars are for men and her husband refuses to enter starbucks in case they think hes gay ?? whats up next in Incredibly Unnecessary Gendering
So the bar he goes to has only guys in it? That doesn’t sound very straight
